Insights & Resources
What next?
If you are feeling stuck, frustrated or overwhelmed, and want to escape the hostility hamster wheel, book a Coffee-Break Consultation. Together, let's rediscover your inner spark.
The Acceptance Strategy
Working across the divide
If you dread going into work each day due to a difficult manager, hostile project team, or co-workers who keep plotting against you, then this is for you. Let's explore how to navigate such choppy waters with integrity, focus, and an understanding of what you can and cannot change.
In such toxic cultures where you are constantly undermined, expressing your concerns can make you seem overly sensitive or totally unreasonable because you are questioning the norm that everyone else has come to accept.
It’s easy to feel powerless when faced with unsupportive leadership, behind-the-scenes criticism and hidden conflict. But surely, there are better ways to deal with toxic environments rather than just shutting up and putting up with them.
Let’s start off by exploring acceptance as a survival strategy.
Why we underestimate a toxic environment
When faced with toxicity at work - whether it's passive aggression, hostility, harassment, or ethical breaches - it's understandable that we initially keep quiet and tolerate the situation.
As counter-intuitive as it seems, there are actually reasonable arguments for this. We may stay silent because we don’t want to rock the boat or incur any backlash. Remaining diplomatic while evaluating our options is probably the wiser move. It’s also understandable that after a few hostile encounters, we may seek to protect ourselves by remaining quiet and compliant. We may instead seek personal fulfilment outside of work, or even apply our mental energy to quietly researching new job opportunities.
However, acceptance, and all those protective measures do little to change the underlying culture. In fact, every time we endure or tolerate mistreatment without speaking up, we help normalize toxic behaviours, we become complicit in the toxicity, and reinforce the narrative that it’s OK to act in such a way. Over time, it becomes harder to report issues, as people fear retaliation, and abuse and dysfunction become embedded into the unwritten norms of the organization.
To counter that, it's important that we recognize the situation as it is, rather than how we wish it could or should be. Working with the facts on hand helps us develop more effective strategies as we are working from a premise of truth. In the latter scenario, we are setting ourselves up for a rude awakening, as false hope can expand our blind spots, and actually perpetuate the adversity.
How to create a positive shift
The true antidote to a toxic culture is our own personal shift from silent tolerance to courageous action.
The first step is to acknowledge our own fears and biases. We must learn to recognize and overcome our own rationalizations for inaction. Common excuses like "I can't make a difference on my own" or “Speaking up could hurt my career” seem justifiable. However, these instincts condemn us to perpetual victimhood. Progress can only begin when we assume responsibility for being the change that we want to see in ourselves, and in the world.
Next, we need to understand that cultural transformation is not a one-person show. It typically grows from small, grassroots groups, which then develop into more organised movements. Let’s seek like-minded colleagues who are equally troubled by the behaviours violating our shared values. Gather together to discuss transformation strategies and to coordinate small, consistent actions that model the culture that we want to create, built on integrity, accountability or respect.
When toxicity surfaces, let’s find the courage to calmly question its legitimacy, keeping conversations focused on undeniable, shared principles rather than disputable details. Over time, a patient, principled stance will accumulate into a groundswell that bosses can no longer ignore.
Let’s also remember that change takes time, and the results we want to achieve require our own perseverance and consistency. The biggest step is perhaps the mindset shift from silent observer to constructive change agent, as this empowers us to take charge of our own autonomy, our career, and our future.
2024 © The Coaching Gym
All Rights Reserved